pills + booze = sleep

I have been having a lot of trouble sleeping since the surgery. It felt like no matter what I tried, I wouldn’t stay asleep for more than 2-5 hours at a time. Something had to happen, I was going nuts. Then I remembered that my medication says “may cause drowsiness, alcohol may intensify this effect”. Duh!

So, without further ado – Rachelle’s recipe for a good, painless night’s sleep:

2 tall vodka Sprites (lime slice optional)
10 mg Ambien
2 Benadryl capsules
1 Hydrocodone

I’ve learned that I can take the Hydrocodone as long as I take Benadryl as well.  So that’s been good. Because this hip never stops finding new ways to ache and I can’t always treat it with OTC drugs.

(Disclaimer: Rachelle is not a doctor. This recipe is not doctor approved.)

rash watch: 2010

Well, my rash is gone(ish). I diagnosed myself with an allergy to pain medication, stopped the medication, took some Benadryl and a nice long nap, and started feeling better. I haven’t taken the pain meds since and I seem to be alright. So, that’s nice. I’ve been managing any pain or discomfort with Motrin. And chocolate. Oh, and Harry and David pears (shout out to Angela and Matt).

On a side note, I think going off the pain pills has made my stomach upset. The bad news is I’ve been throwing up a lot. The good news is I look a little thinner. You gotta find the good in everything, my friends.

So, overall I’m managing. There are pros and cons to the situation. For example, a pro is that apparently you don’t have to pay for parking if you have a handicapped placard. A con is that my left calf muscle looks all pathetic. I always had really nice calves (thank you, ballet) but now I’m going to have to build that one back up.

Ah yes, and I started drinking again. So, that’s helped.

I’ll take one allergic reaction to my pain pills, please!

Because I must have been a really terrible person in a past life, I now have a rash/itch all over. My head itches. My ears itch. Even my mouth itches. And, in the interest of an over share, I really need to shave my legs but can’t because of this rash. That one adds insult to injury.

The derm told me he thought my rash might have been caused by an allergic reaction to medication. The only thing I took this morning was my pain meds, and BAM. It’s something I’ve taken many times before, but maybe I’ve been taking it so long that it’s built up in my system or something. I usually take it with Benadryl and this time I didn’t, so using my mad reasoning skillz, I can pretty much blame the drugs.

He called in something for me. I must say, this medication is a multi-tasker. It’s used for itching due to allergic reactions, motion sickness, anxiety, and alcohol withdrawal.

I’m almost a little afraid to take it…

great!

My rash is “getting better”. It itches less, and the bumps have gone flat.

Now it just looks like I have a skin disease.

Sweet.

I’m not gonna lie, I like my odds

Saw my ortho today. Got another xray. Everything still looks good, and my hip is still just chillin’ in its new home. I’ve had loads of new little aches and pains, all of which are, of course, normal. He showed me a new exercise. I tried it when I got home. Ha ha. He’s crazy. Contrary to what anyone may think, I am not a sadist. (If you look that up on merriam-webster.com, I am referring to definition number 2a. Before you go getting all weird on me…) If you missed it, my point is that these exercises hurt, and I do not enjoy them.

Anyway, he referred me to a dermatologist for the rash. Let me preface this by saying: DO NOT NAME YOUR KID HERSCHEL. It’s not a nice thing to do. This dermatologist looked like a Herschel, talked like a Herschel, carried himself like a Herschel. Are we getting a clear picture? The guy was a dork through and through. He took on the true identity of a Herschel. Poor guy never stood a chance.

I digress. He doesn’t know what is causing the rash (shock) but he gave me some cream that’s supposed to ease the itching and hopefully make it go away. I hope it makes it go away, because the itching has not left the building.

Spoke to the ortho about my right hip (Ethel). She has the same lovely disease as the left, and she’s starting to hurt. Brad and I propose fixing Ethel before the end of the year for several reasons:

1) We’ve met our out of pocket maximum, so it would be free.
2) I’m not in school, and not working, so it’s convenient (relatively speaking).
3) We don’t have kids, which is unlikely to happen anyway, but can you imagine if I had a kid while recovering? What would I do? Put the thing on a leash?
4) It’s going to have to happen anyway, let’s just get it the hell over with.

The ortho says the chances of Ethel NOT completely crapping out on me like Hattie did are “less than 10%”.  I like those odds. They just make me want to sit around for the next (enter undetermined amount of time here) and wait to see what happens. Or you could just get this diseased thing out of me NOW, and I can move on with my very exciting life.

Look out world!

We’re under a tornado watch right now. Good thing there’s nothing on TV right now, because we’re gonna be hearing about this alllll night. I hope it doesn’t change to a warning, because getting 4 cats into the basement while I’m on crutches is only slightly more difficult than it is amusing. The last time the siren went off I literally threw tuna on the basement stairs and that got 3 of them down there. I guess if a tornado came, Bailey and I would be in trouble.

Hope your night is more exciting than mine, and a little less itchy.

ooo! a rash! how exciting!

So, my incision looks really nice. It’s almost too nice. I mean, I had a hip replacement. Yet this mark is all thin and straight. Perfectly colored. It’s not going to be the horrid mark that I could make up cool stories about. At best I look like a really, really hard core cutter.

But, that is beside the point. My beautiful incision has a rash. A RASH!! Come on. This thing itches SO bad. I didn’t realize just how much it itches until I was describing it to my MIL and realized I wasn’t about to say any of the words I wanted to use to describe the feeling in front of my sweet MIL’s ears.

I’ll post a photo later. That way you can see both the beauty and the horror.

Really, it doesn’t look that bad. It’s just bumpy and red. And itchy. My gawd, it’s itchy.

life

My BFF came and spent the weekend with me. Poor girl got to do nothing fun. I know she is low maintenance and had 0 problem just bumming, I just feel like I need to  be super host and entertain those who have spent time and dinero to visit. I was for sure NOT super host. Super host would not say “let’s have Totitnos for dinner Friday”, SH would have MADE dinner for her friend to show off her culinary skillz. Super host fail.

This recovery is all sorts of inconvenient.

Speaking of which, where the hell is everyone? You guys know I’m not dead, right? If you can tolerate some crutches, invite me places again! All I do is sit around or lie around and I am b-o-r-e-d. Come over, invite me somewhere, I don’t give a what what, but please start acting like we know each other again. If I get one more get well card from BRAD’s friends and no more calls from my own friends, I might have to turn to crime. I watch a lot of court TV, so I have a lot of great ideas. Though, I have always wanted to tag a highway sign, so maybe I’ll start there.

I get great parking…and it’s freeeeee…

As for my recovery. It’s taking its sweet time. It would help a lot of my incision site didn’t have a rash that itched in an ungodly way. Otherwise the drugs seem to be managing stuff. Except my sleep. Ambien is starting to go weak on me and it’s taking like, 20 mg + Benadryl to keep me knocked out all night. So I am lacking sleep. I feel like I have a newborn, except I don’t. Thank goodness! What would I do with a baby right now? Baby cage, I guess.

milestone!

I drove yesterday. First time in a month!

There were no casualties.

FAQs

1. Does your hip still hurt?

Why yes, yes it does. They sawed through my bone and scooped out my joint, then replaced it with a fake. Then they apparently moved my leg around in horrid positions to see if it would easily dislocate. So yes, it hurts.

2. How does it feel when you put weight on that leg?

It feels like I’m going to fall down. Doesn’t really hurt, just feels very unstable.

3. Does it suck using crutches?

HELL YES it sucks! I am attached to these things. I can’t take a single unaided step so if I have to pee, I have to crutch the 2 feet to the sink to wash my hands. I once got up in the middle of the night and forgot to pick them up and almost landed on my bum. Also, my pits are chafing. G-r-o-s-s.

4. Have you fallen?

On the stairs, yes, and more than once. Yes, it hurts.

5. How long until you can swim?

About 6 weeks.

6. Do you feel better every day?

No. I have good days and bad days. I have not yet reached a point where I consistently feel better.

7. Do your meds help you sleep?

No. I haven’t slept for more than 3 hours at a time since this surgery. Yes, I’m going insane.

Okay that’s all I can think of. But those are the most common questions I get.

someone tell me how this is fair

The bill was 61,721.24

Insurance’s “contractual obligation” is only 4,589.77

We owe 1,850 (which, well we sure could use that money for something else)

WHAT?! So, the insurance has to pay less than 5,000 of a 61,000 bill, and we have to pay 2,000 0f it? I’m sorry but that is a)absurd and b)completely unfair. I find it absurd that we’re paying about half of what insurance has to pay. You mean to tell me that they can’t cover that extra 1800 considering how much we pay them and how little they have to pay for this surgery? And how unfair that someone without insurance could damn near be bankrupted over a surgery like this. And heaven forbid they need the other hip done (like I will). Disgusting. Why do insurance companies get contractual obligations but regular people get the middle finger.

But oh, socialized medicine is the devil.