I feel like, better.

I don’t feel normal, but I feel better. For some reason yesterday I just realized that I’m getting better. I damn near burst into tears. But I haven’t cried during this whole ordeal, so I might as well not start now.

I had a great weekend. Went swimming. Got sun. It felt fantastic getting in the water so I’m for sure going to take advantage of the pool at our gym. I still walk with 1 crutch, but I try to use it a bit less when I’m at home. I have a major limp, so I refrain from walking without an aid in public.

Here’s hoping things keep getting better!

Guess who’s slept 3 nights in a row with NO medication? This girl! Woot!

It’s nice to feel rested. I had forgotten what that felt like.

However, it’s always an exchange. I can sleep, but now I have this sharp, pulsing pain in my left hip. Oh well. Being in pain is a lot easier (for me) than being tired.

And that’s life.

security fail… but wheelchair WIN

please pass the Prozac

I have good days and bad days. I think today is one of those bad days. This surgery is really screwing with my summer. I’ve had to miss out on so many fun things, and the hits just keep coming. I want to be able to jump in a lake, I want to be able to sit in an inner tube, I want to be able to stay up past 11pm on a Friday night. But I can’t, so I don’t. It sucks.

I’m 2 days shy of my 2 month “hipiversary” and honestly, it’s starting to feel like 2 years.

On one hand it’s already been 2 months, and on the other well, it’s ONLY been 2 months. I think I have really high expectations of myself, so not feeling up to do x,y, or z is taking its toll.

I try to be funny, and sound flippant, but this really is a big deal. And there are a lot of times where I just can’t muster up the energy to get ready to go out. There are just activities that I don’t feel like participating in. So, while I desperately want people to include me in things, when invitations come my way I don’t or can’t always go. How’s that for a kick in the ass?

Oh, and if I don’t start sleeping through the night on the chop chop, I’m going to jump off a cliff anyway. So, that will solve my problem anyway. 🙂

because I’m just not this clever

Jackie has managed to sum up many of my feelings about MS in this here post:

http://www.themsblog.com/1/post/2009/03/return-of-the-pessimist.html <— Jackie, how the hell do I make this a link?

Enjoy!

And seriously, read her other blog (I shared the link in earlier posts). She manages to make crap bags hilarious.

all I want to do is what I want to do and not listen to you!

…for lack of a better blog entry title.

Around 2am as I laid there wide awake, I realized I actually had something good to say. But then I fell asleep and forgot.

I apparently did not learn my lesson earlier in life. Because when I was in school this would happen ALL the time. I’d have a wicked smart idea for a paper, not get up to make the note, then forget.

So…update…

I got nothin’…

Oh, wait! I’m walking with one crutch (or still walking with 1 crutch if I’ve already told you/seen you/written about it). I’m really moving up in the world! The problem with one crutch is that if it slips on or gets caught on something, I do not have another crutch to lean on (literally! ha). So, since the time I moved to 1 crutch I’ve almost bit it at least 10 times. Probably more than that, but that’s all I’m admitting to.

I’m also tired of hearing they “don’t order PT for hip replacements”. Seriously people, I NEED like, a trained person to help me regain my ability to not look totally retarded when I walk, as well as plans for the future. I would really prefer to not get my PT tips from Google. I mean, Google misdiagnoses people ALL the time. It’s told me I have about 7 different kinds of cancer, and it told Cara she had cancer AND meningitis. C’mon, Google! You’re about as accurate as the Omaha meteorologists.

Hattie Jr. (aka Pinkie) has made some accomplishments, as of late:

1. Concert
She survived a night of drinking and (sort of ) dancing at the concert of the older version of this man:

Don’t even dare ask me who this is. If you do, our friendship is over.

I digress. The concert was so much fun and we got sweet ass parking (shout out to my parking placard!). I was feeling crappy and crabby that day, but I’m glad we went. I didn’t get my dream front row seats, but row 16 ain’t bad. I sort of wish I’d taken my camera.

2. CWS
She managed to sit through (and actually enjoy) 11 innings of the final CWS game at the ‘Blatt. Not only this, but South Carolina won, making my 23$ “Fear the Cocks” shirt delightfully worth it. Post-game they did a little Rosenblatt video, and the night ended with fireworks and a rendition of Take Me Out to the Ball Game that was sadder than I ever thought possible. We’re talking single trumpet, slow version sadness. It was like Taps for the stadium. The point of the story is it was fun, the weather was amazing, the game lasted about 5.5 hours, and I survived. I also managed not to kill the annoying kids behind me, the drunk man down the row who kept shouting “come on baby, come on baby” at BOTH teams because he was so drunk he didn’t know who he liked anymore, or my friend Andrew with whom I went to the game. All in all, a winning evening!

And here’s my current status:

1. stir crazy
2. crazy
3. sleep deprived
4. walkingly challenged (that’s right, I said walkingly)
5. b-o-r-e-d
6. paranoid (thanks a lot Dr. Google)
7. rinse, repeat, add a thunderstorm for emphasis

(The above entry is proof of how bored I truly am.)

Sadly, while writing this entry I sat with my left foot crossed over my right, and when I was done writing I felt an excruciating pain in my hip. Mother beeeeeeeeeep. Moments like this make me insane. I’m way too young to have to give serious thought to how my feet are positioned when I’m sitting.

PS – Remember how my insurance said they only paid 2 grand for my surgery? False. Just got a notice yesterday that they paid 50 grand. That’s more like it.

I would like to speak to the maker of my hip, please

I am starting to think this thing they implanted in me is filled with catnip, because my cats are really drawn to my hip. It’s like my incision site is a target.

When you have 3 cats that weigh 10+ pounds, well …it feels like daggers are going into my leg.

De-lightful.